Raise it up the Master's arse!!!!

Okay, so I let you all in on what I was doing last night. I was at a pornography party. My brother and sister-in-law hosted a small get together for their friends that they consider sexual deviants. The night came complete with a basket full of dirty prizes, blow-up dolls (I named the boy Rodrigo and the girl Svetlana) and a viewing of Pirates which is evidently the most expensive porn ever made.

I highly recommend the purchase of Pirates if you're into visual porn. It's actually a quality movie with a plot. However, a plot does kind of tend to get in the way of porn. I mean, who's really watching for the dialog. There are some very hot scenes though -- especially a hot (and somewhat violent) lesbian encounter. And one of the actors looked a bit like a poor man's Vincent D'Onofrio, which I found to be an odd coincidence, considering yesterday's posting. We also saw some of a Jenna Jamieson movie in which Miss Jamieson's lady friend straps on some love which was so large it frightened me. Let's put it this way...I'm surprised Jenna is able to sit down to this day.

Sadly, I had to cut my evening short because I felt so awful. I am having severe problems with my allergies lately. My eyes (especially the right one) are really taking the brunt of it. They are leaking this disgusting sticky liquid and feel like there are shards of glass in them. This morning I woke up and I couldn't open my right eye...the icky sticky liquid dried my freaking eyelashes together!!! Yuck! I had to keep putting water on my eye to get it open. I am a total mess.

So I came home last night, took Saffron out for few minutes, and put on my jammies. Then I watched Psycho. Awesome movie, but I got a bit too scared. I need a boy to watch scary movies with...especially on nights when I have consumed so much porn. Jennifer has needs, you know.