Lessons

I recently learned a few small things I find it important to share with you, my darling readers.

1. Don't watch the John Cusack movie 1408 alone. Don't even assume because you're with two dogs, one of which is a big German Shepard, you will not be scared. You will. Trust me.
2. Avoid Cherry Hill Mall on Saturday afternoons. The clientele is more frightening than the film 1408.
3. Try not to assume that you are any good at wiffle ball or volleyball if you haven't played either of these games in over 15 years. Despite what you think, you are older and more prone to making a fool of yourself.
4. Do try root beer vodka mixed with diet root beer. You will not regret this one.
5. Invest in Clinique facial sunblock #50.
6. If you happen to be 37 and don't have crow's feet, do not make an announcement of such in a bragging manner. You may subsequently stab yourself in the eye with an eyeliner.
7. Dead head your spring flowers.
8. Buy new black knickers...lots of them.
9. Hazelnut biscotti half and half...it's your coffee's new best friend.
10. Cut your bangs super-short.