I have been thinking a lot about the path my life has taken in recent weeks.
I have lived always believing that everything happens for a reason. Perhaps it's faith, perhaps it's naivete -- regardless, it's the way I've seen things.
Recently I have wondered what this path I'm on is for. What purpose does it serve? I am so incredibly lonely and wish to find a special person worthy of the love I have to give. Yet I cannot find him. I will most likely never have a baby and it makes me feel hollow deep in the recess of my soul.
There is a difference between breathing in and out everyday and living. I fear I am only breathing at this point.
I need a do-over.
3 comments:
I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes I really wish I had done things differently and boy wouldn't it be nice to start again. Sorry you're feeling off-path so to speak. Happy endings do turn up where you least expect them though.
Love you.
There is a prayer in one of my favorite Buddhist books. The prayer says, "keep praying." You might not be rewarded with results immediately, but things will come turn out as the should, in the end. I am trying to come to grips with this myself. It's also a take-off on one of my favorite sayings (it's on a card I bought) "Even if you don't think so, the universe is unfolding as it should."
You are blessed with a fantastic family. Also, you are one of the most interesting, fun people I have ever met. You brighten so many lives. That is a gift.
I wish I had words of wisdom that were that good. All I can say that might help is that... I feel you. I'm right there with you.
Keep moving forward.
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