You have to have a plan

There are two people in this world who have the power to knock me on my ass. One is my mother and the other is Diane.

So when they both recently gave me hell about the direction, or directionless, path my life has been on recently, I took heed.

I have lived a scattered life in 2009 and have been less than happy. I tried to recover from getting dumped by half-hearted tossing my cap into the dating ring in the ninth circle of hell. Then came Saffron's crazed separation anxiety. And let us not forget the piece de resistance --the moment her back caved and all the chaos that ensued trying to take care of her little body. And now, more emotional issues and possibly dementia.

I have become exhausted by this year. And defeated. And discombobulated. I even forgot to pay my PSE&G bill! I found it Sunday and it was due on the 13th. Now that may not seem like a huge deal to some people, but I have never payed a bill late in my life. It was a sign of the lack of order I have embraced.

The point is that very little in my life is working as it should. And that has to change. I've always been in control and now I feel controlled by my circumstance. My mother said Nanny's advice would be to make a list of everything that isn't working, study the list and then attack it with all my might.

I have no excuse for sitting and letting things happen to me. I was not raised to sit at the back of the bus.

Your "Jeggie" is coming up with a list, Nanny.

I am taking the reigns and changing my direction.

And you, dear readers, are invited for the ride. In fact, I may create a secondary blog to document my goals and progress.