Looking Back

Well, 2009, you're just about to end. Now is a time for reflection and looking forward.

In reflection...

Change
On the afternoon of January 20 my eyes welled with tears as I watched an African-American man be sworn in as the President of the United States. My heart was full as years of oppression came full circle and change was finally realized in this amazing event. That same night, my eyes welled with tears as I listened to someone I really liked dump me because, in my opinion, he was incapable of change and down-right didn't want to. It was a strange day of juxtaposition and looking back, almost one year later, I have come to realize that some change is worth fighting for and some change isn't. Some change will be realized and other change will be fought tooth and nail. Some change is worth giving your heart to and some change...doesn't deserve your heart.

Mother's Day
Jessica and Christopher invited both moms and all the brothers and sisters over to their place for a Mother's Day picnic. We gathered as a loving, extended family (we are so blessed that both families get along so amazingly!) and shared a delicious meal and moved on to give gifts to the moms. Afterward, Jessica said how happy she was that we could all gather together and that she was pregnant. We all jumped from our chairs screaming and crying and hugging Jess and Chris. It was an amazing day and I learned I could feel a love in my heart I never felt before.

Saffron
My dog had a hard few months this year. There were many days I thought we were near the end and a couple of times I sat down to call the vet to make an appointment to put her down. In the end, she needed dental surgery and I am happy to report that as I write this she is wagging her tail and barking to go outside. Tonight is the 14th New Year I will ring in with my little friend. Saffron has taught me to never give up on a pal, no matter how bleak the outlook may seem. You just never know how simple the solution may be once you finally come to it.

Friendship
This year brought many reunions. I met up with Jennifer, William and Nicholas again; three of the closest friends I ever knew. I also caught up with old Camden Catholic pals this past Fall at a bonfire. In all cases it as though no time had passed. We were all still the same and the friendships fell right back into place. Friendship knows no space or time...it transcends all.

Death and Dying
November 17th brought the one-year anniversary of my beloved Nanny's departure from the family. I dreaded the day's arrival because I feared it would be so painful, but I had no idea what type of pain was in store. My mother was slowly poisoning her own body to death when a hernia she didn't know she had wrapped itself around her intestine; keeping all toxins from exiting her body. What would life have become had I lost her too? I cannot bear to suppose. I can only be grateful to God above that she is healthy again and I have many more years to listen to her goofy jokes, spend time wandering antique stores with her and watching old black and white movies together.

Looking Forward...

My Niece
My niece is due to enter this world on January 13. Dear angel, I promise to love you unconditionally, keep you warm and cozy, take you for ice cream in summers to come, talk to your mother when you want to begin wearing makeup and she says you're too young, help you pick out a prom gown, watch you receive your Master's Degree and be in the front row when you're awarded your Nobel Peace Prize. I love you, my little darling. I anticipate your arrival with baited breath and imagine holding you close to my heart.

Love
I still keep my heart open despite the beating it's taken. I hope to meet someone worthy of it in the year to come.

Well, that's all she wrote folks.

Here's hoping 2010 is good to us all.

Much love,
Jennifer