Thankful for...The Art of Being Silly

No matter how crazy, hectic or tough life can be, I am grateful that I can see silliness in the smallest of things and always find a reason to laugh.

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My mom and I drove up to an antique store in Hopewell, NJ today. On the way home we stopped in a Dunkin Donuts for a coffee pick me up. And, we succummed to ordering chocolate donuts with jimmies. Can I get a "yum"?

We got in the car and I passed my mom her treat. Then I took out mine. Hmmm...chocolate donut with jimmies? Is there a jimmie shortage?

Being a "mom" to the core, my mom offered to give me hers which was full of jimmies. It was, however, missing a huge bite. I sulked and ate my own. Who needs jimmies anyway?

Fahrenheit 100

As I write this I am fresh from my second shower of the day, covered in baby powder and wearing an Ocean City, NJ t-shirt. I bought the shirt because for some inexplicable reason, under the words Ocean City, it reads "72", which is the year I was born. I put it on tonight because there's a Jersey Shore marathon on and I thought I'd "represent". Yeah, right.

"Hey, Jenn," you're wondering, "Why two showers in one day?"

Because it's one m-i-l-l-i-o-n degrees outside. The weather this summer has been absolutely oppressive in the Northeast. You know it's bad when you look at a 90 degree day as a reprieve.

Today I invited myself to drive down to Somer's Point with my mom. She went down to McNaughton's Nursery to pick up a bird bath she's had her eye on. I went for the ride because I had a free day. It was so darn hot as we wandered around the nursery that despite being an adult of 38 years of age, I succumbed to running through the overhead sprinklers when they activated in a portion of the nursery. I only stayed wet for about 10 minutes until the heat dried my to the bone.

The overhead sprinkler system. Yes, I ran up and down that aisle. :)

Here's the very cute and helpful, JR, who carted the bird bath to my mom's car.

Well, all I can say is stay cool, my friends. Sooner than you think there'll be two feet of snow outside and we'll be bitching about that.

The Kitty

There's an antique store my mom and I frequent that is home to "Kitty".

I feel certain this stealth-like feline has another name, but I just call him Kitty.

Kitty likes to tease me by crossing my path, meowing at me, and staying just out of reach. He will not give me the pleasure of petting him.

The last time I was there I called, "Kitty? Where are you Kitty?"

"Meeoooooowwwww!" Kitty called.

I looked on the floor among all the dust-covered treasures.

"Kitty?"

"MEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!" Kitty sounded impatient.

"Kitty, are you stuck somewhere?" This store has piles and piles of items crammed in the space. I worried Kitty was caught in an antique alvalanche of sorts.

And then something caught my eye. I looked up at the rafters. There was Kitty, staring down at me in his "I'm above it all" manner.

"Hi, Kitty," I smiled, snapping his picture with my cell phone.

We made eye contact for a split second and he turned away.

Always leave them wanting more, Kitty.

Until Wednesday...

This blog will be taking a few days off until the beautiful, intelligent and talented girl who writes it comes home from a short business trip.

Please do your best to cope with this disappointing news.

Making the Grade

Jo-Ann: What reunion do you have next year?

Jennifer: Twenty. TWENTY! Twenty years.

Jo-Ann: You shouldn't be upset; you look good.

Jennifer: Good? I look fantastic!

Jo-Ann: Are we grading on a curve?

I need MY head examined...

I have a massive crush on my dog's neurologist. That is all.

One tuna fish sandwich, please

I ran some errands with my mother this morning. Our travels included a quick stop at BJ's to get coffee for her office. While there, I was thrilled to discover a can of tuna fish large enough to feed an entire village.

Sometimes is the littlest things that bring a smile to my goofy face.

Let them eat cupcakes

I went to pick up the laptop from the Geeks after work today!! Yippee! It turns out the Geeks are right next door to Cherry Hill Wegmans. Not my Wegmans, but a Wegmans nonetheless.

I ran inside to grab: something to eat for dinner, coffee and half-and-half.

I came out with those three items and: cake mix, icing and sprinkles.

I was overwhelmed with the desire to make cupcakes tonight, but never got around to it. Now, it's almost 10 pm and beginning to bake at this time of night (on a school night!) is just a bad idea.

Would it be wrong to just curl up in bed with the icing and a spoon?

Lessons

I recently learned a few small things I find it important to share with you, my darling readers.

1. Don't watch the John Cusack movie 1408 alone. Don't even assume because you're with two dogs, one of which is a big German Shepard, you will not be scared. You will. Trust me.
2. Avoid Cherry Hill Mall on Saturday afternoons. The clientele is more frightening than the film 1408.
3. Try not to assume that you are any good at wiffle ball or volleyball if you haven't played either of these games in over 15 years. Despite what you think, you are older and more prone to making a fool of yourself.
4. Do try root beer vodka mixed with diet root beer. You will not regret this one.
5. Invest in Clinique facial sunblock #50.
6. If you happen to be 37 and don't have crow's feet, do not make an announcement of such in a bragging manner. You may subsequently stab yourself in the eye with an eyeliner.
7. Dead head your spring flowers.
8. Buy new black knickers...lots of them.
9. Hazelnut biscotti half and half...it's your coffee's new best friend.
10. Cut your bangs super-short.

It Runs in the Family -- Junk in the Trunk

*Photography by Jessica.

A daydream believer and a homecoming queen

I had the following conversation with my mother the other day in the car about my recent adventures in internet dating...

Jennifer: One guy is from freaking Staten Island. Why would I purposely get involved with someone from Staten Island?

Jo-Ann: Well, maybe he's perfect for you.

Jennifer: But he's perfect in Staten Island. I'm not driving to Staten Island for anyone. I wouldn't drive to Staten Island for Mickey Dolenz!!!

Jo-Ann: Who are you shitting? You'd drive to California for Mickey Dolenz.

Jennifer: Well, yes, that's true. But I wouldn't drive to Staten Island for Davey Jones.

Jo-Ann: No, I never thought you would.

I must have this!

Since there are only a handful of Lithuanians living in the US I cannot believe that this shirt exists! I need it, for being Lithuanian is just wacky and being half Lithuanian is even wackier! Go Baltic States!

Wax on, wax off

I went to the salon today for a bit of pampering. Plus, there is no better medicine than changing things up a bit. So, I had more bangs cut in and went with a much darker color.

I loved my new look and was feeling pretty good, until I asked this young gorgeous Korean chick to wax my eyebrows before I left. I lay down and feel the wax spread across my face. She places the cloth on top and rips, and rips and rips away. But that's not the painful part...oh, no! The painful part was when she asked, "I do your lip too?"

Suddenly, I was deflated. However, I am told that my 'stache can be used as a floatation device, so at least there's that! :)

And now, a toast...

When I moved to my apartment I bought a toaster that lasted about a year.

Not long after, my mom gave me a toaster which broke after three months.

My friend, Amy, had a spare toaster which she let me borrow. It is a massive, industrial size, King Kong toaster and is the bane of my existence because of its sheer bulk.

My mom went out on the toaster limb again this Christmas and gave me another one. When I opened it, my sister-in-law looked at me and asked, "What is it with you and toasters?"

Never before had such a prolific question been asked.

I took it out of the box and placed it lovingly on my counter, all the while dreaming of my delicious carbohydrate treat.

And what happens when I place the bread in the slots? Ummmm...nothing. The bread doesn't fit in the slots. That's right kids...my new toaster doesn't accept the size of bread.

You know that saying "I've seen it all"? I think I'm getting really close.

When you wish upon a star

Every few days my new friend, Jiminy, visits my apartment. That's Jiminy, as in Cricket.

I'm not certain if it's the same cricket who keeps sneaking back in, or if there are multiple crickets in search of good homes in the greater Voorhees area, but I keep finding my little friend.
In the bathtub...in front of my linen closet...next to my bed.

I place a glass on top of the little guy, slide Diane and Mark's wedding invitation under the glass, and throw the bugger out the door. Yes, I always use the wedding invitation. It's the perfect size and the weight of the paper ensures Jiminy won't escape. Diane and Mark did well.

Diane suggested flushing Jiminy. I'm not certain if she's anti-cricket or is tired of me using her wedding invitation to toss his cricket bum out the door.

My pictures of you...

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess whose only flaw was that she took lots of pictures and never uploaded them from her camera. And so one day she sat on her sofa and began the digital process. Alas! Photographs to share with family and friends. And all the subjects loved the beautiful princess.

Halloween

Sean came as my brother, Christopher. Note the angry eyebrows!

Diane was a witch and I was myself, in 1988. I made my high school uniform and wore too much makeup and combat boots!


Bachelorette Night

Here's Diane with the blow up penis Samantha got her!

Samantha and her little friend.

We take a group shot of the four of us whenever we're together.

Jessica, Diane, me and Samantha

Elizabeth's Birthday

Jessica is holding a jar of honest-to-goodness moonshine!

We all had a taste.

Now my life is complete!

My camera battery died not long after getting to this shindig. I'll have to wait to get Jessica's pictures before I can really share.

People I Really Like - Part Four

Name: Diane

Relation: Best friend

Aliases:

1. Di
2. Boo Boo

One reason why I like her: She's seen me through my darkest times, my best times, and every single time in between...and she's still along for the ride.

I've known her for: 22 years

The story behind this picture: This was taken in my kitchen on "Girl's Night" in March of this year. Diane's a bit tipsy in this one, as we all are on these glorious evenings.

Something only she will understand: "IIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

People I Really Like - Part Three

Name: Jo-Ann

Relation: Momma

Aliases:

1. Joey
2. Jo Jo
3. Millie

One reason why I like her: She doles out SERIOUS tough love.

I've known her for: Since conception

The story behind this picture: This was taken in a Five and Dime in Stone Harbor, NJ in May 2007. Chris, Jess and I took our mom for afternoon tea and walked around Cape May and Stone Harbor afterwards.

Something only she will understand: "Go to the window."

People I Really Like - Part Two

Name: Jessica

Relation: Sister (in-law)

Aliases:

1. Jezebel
2. Jasper
3. SIL
   

One reason why I like her: She can talk as much as I can. We had a twelve-hour conversation once driving to Maine...seriously, we didn't take a break.

I've known her for: Twelve years

The story behind this picture: This was taken at my cousin Liz's wedding shower...we were attempting to steal gifts before the bride arrived. (I promise we didn't take anything, Liz!)

Something only she will understand: "We could be cheerleaders."