Earliest Memories

One of my earliest memories is sitting on the passenger-side floor (it didn't dawn on anyone in the 70's to wear seat belts or sit in car seats) of my mom's 1970 American Motors Javelin, singing along with the radio to my favorite song of the time.

Do any of you forty-somethings remember this tune? It still makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

 

 

And for those of you who don't remember the American Motors Javelin, I give you this to ponder.

 

 

 

My mom must have looked fine driving hers around in her early 20's. Hers was blue with a red and white stripe down the length of the car. :)

The Years Run Too Short and the Days Too Fast

My father and me on my Christening Day, 1972.

I have wondered during the last two days how I would acknowledge my father's passing in my blog.

I have always strived to be as honest as possible when writing this here. There is no point maintaining a blog about your life for almost five years, if you aren't honest about your emotions, no matter how silly, juvenile, disturbed or dark they may be.

I thought about a proper eulogy, but those words aren't coming to me tonight. Perhaps tomorrow; perhaps in years to come.

Instead my mind is filled with a kaleidoscope of memories, twisting and turning into each other and leaving me with many small snippets of the man I knew as Dad. The one thing that stands out more than anything is one of my father's favorite songs when I was a child, Time Passages by Al Stewart.

My Dad was many things, but he was not a singer. But he would sing Time Passages in his off-key voice over and over again, spinning that album so many times I'm stunned the grooves didn't wear away. A few years ago I bought that CD was transported to a simpler time in my life when I listened. To days when The Dukes of Hazzard ruled the TV airwaves, to days when I was reading Judy Blume and blushing, to days when phones had cords.

Because that song represents my childhood and my father to me, the lyrics seem even more poignant now.

The song follows. Have a listen if you like. This song has brought me comfort, laughs, tears and pain in the last two days.

It was late in December, the sky turned to snow
All round the day was going down slow
Night like a river beginning to flow
I felt the beat of my mind go
Drifting into time passages
Years go falling in the fading light
Time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight

Well I'm not the kind to live in the past
The years run too short and the days too fast
The things you lean on are the things that don't last
Well it's just now and then my line gets cast into these
Time passages
There's something back here that you left behind
Oh time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight

Hear the echoes and feel yourself starting to turn
Don't know why you should feel
That there's something to learn
It's just a game that you play

Well the picture is changing
Now you're part of a crowd
They're laughing at something
And the music's loud
A girl comes towards you
You once used to know
You reach out your hand
But you're all alone, in these
Time passages
I know you're in there, you're just out of sight
Time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight

Take my hand; I'll lead you to Salvation

I just finished watching the 25th Anniversary special of Les Miserables. I am a big fan of that musical. The final song of the play is the death of the main character, Jean Valjean. In his final moments, two characters who have already passed away come to him and "take him" to the other side.

This and the lyrics that accompany this part of the show always make me cry.

Take my hand; I'll lead you to Salvation
Take my love; for love is everlasting
And remember the truth that once was spoken:
To love another person is to see the face of God

I recall one of the saddest moments of my life. I sat next to my cousin Christie underneath a window in Room 6 of the ICU of Underwood Hospital. My mother sat in a chair on the right hand side of the hospital bed and my Aunt Louise sat in a chair on the left hand side. In the bed, my beloved Nanny lay dying.

I can still hear my mother telling her mother that it was alright to go now. That she had done her job here and she could go to her sisters, mother and father now.

There was just silence and peace. No more struggles. No more pain.

And as strange as it may sound, it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

I am grateful to have been there as she slipped from this world to the next, where I imagine her parents were waiting to welcome her home.

And when I picture my Nanny in Heaven, she is in a South Philadelphia-style row home kitchen. Her sister and her mother are also there. There is a perpetual pot of gravy on the stove and a paper bag filled with fresh rolls from the corner store.

And some day I'll pull up a chair too, pour a cup of coffee and have the privilage of spending time with that amazing woman again.

So yes, that's what that darn song does to me.

This is your song

It seems almost everyone I know is linked to a song in my mind. A few bars of those special tunes that bring a friend to mind every time.

I thought it would be neat to begin sharing these. May I present...

Diane



This song is the beginning of college...drinking 40s of Bud...dancing at Revival...warm summer evenings...just being with Diane.