I'm tired

I just listened to Ave Maria...a version in German by a soprano named Elly Ameling. I sat at my kitchen table and sobbed so badly that I gave myself a headache. How can something as simple as a piano and a beautiful voice make someone feel so much? Music is just ovewhelming.

I'm very tired and my eyes hurt...they burn, actually. I think I need to write...to revisit that story I had been working on so diligently before. It got too painful to continue with at the time, but I think I can go back now...for a little bit at least. It's just that thinking about that person so intently hurt too much. Did you ever have someone in your life that you wish you had never lost, yet simultaneously wish you had never known at all? I hate writing. Writing well...writing something worthwhile...it hurts.

I am feeling extremely lonely all of a sudden. I wish I had someone to talk to. For most of my life I have been happy to be alone. I could always self-entertain and occupy my time quite easily. However, for some reason, I cannot stand it anymore. I have come to dislike the solitude I had always enjoyed. I don't like it. I hate feeling lonely and I feel this way a lot now.