My Perfect Boy List

I met my friend Peggy when I was a Senior and she was a Junior in high school. To be honest, I didn't care for her right away. I became friends with her friend, Jennifer and they happened to be a packaged deal of sorts. I haven't seen or heard a word about Jennifer since about 1993 or 1994, but I'm still friends with Peggy. I find it interesting that the one I didn't really care for made a lasting, deep impression on my life while the other one floated in and out within a few short years.

Peggy is getting married soon and while I was walking to the train tonight I remembered one summer afternoon in my late teens/early twenties when Peggy and I were laying on her bed with a pen and some paper and she composed a list of all the things she was looking for in her Mr. Right. I really wish we still had that list because I think it would be humorous to read what was so important to her back then, versus what is now.

I never made a list that day, but I've decided to make one now. So here's what I am looking for...if you know anyone who fits this description, please inform him that he is lost and can now be returned to me.

1. Intelligent enough to understand and be able to discuss any subject from Organic Chemistry to the history of baseball.

2. Born before 1976. Although I am known in certain circles as "Mrs. Robinson" I have always obeyed the "Bicentennial Rule" of dating. (The rule was written by Diane and I in order to ensure we'd never date/hook up with/sleep with anyone 4 years younger than us. We have sort of stuck to this rule. I should mention, however, that the "Vodka Tonic Rule" negates the "Bicentennial Rule" meaning that if one happens to be intoxicated all other rules no longer apply.)

3. Remembers the following 1970's TV programs fondly: "Free to be You and Me," "Speed Racer," and "The Banana Splits."

4. Must be a fan of animals...especially dogs...especially basset hounds...especially chunky-monkey basset hounds.

5. Has to tolerate all my quirks (this is most likely why I'm a spinster) including, but not limited to, referring to my car as Ginger, staring into magnifying mirrors in horror, my coffee addiction, my laughing when I see people fall down, my foul mouth, my over-active imagination, the fact that I think in cartoon-like visuals, the fact that I sing all the time and talk non-stop, etc.

6. Must be a strong enough person to stand up to me when I refuse to back down.

7. Well read; well informed.

8. Enjoys being part of a family atmosphere.

9. Loves British comedy and knows who Terry Jones is.

10. Extremely silly, but understands when being serious is called for.

11. Employed.

So there are the most important things, I think.